


Move on

by ObsessedAngel



Series: Dean Needs Cuddles [17]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brothers, M/M, Plans, Sad Dean, Supportive Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 11:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7219921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsessedAngel/pseuds/ObsessedAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam notices how depressed Dean has been and demands to know what happened. If he broke up with his girlfriend? Dean eventually comes clean about the whole thing with Cas. Sam comes up with a plan to fix this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Move on

**Author's Note:**

> You guys!! Thank you so much for all of your comments!! They honestly got my ass in gear and I worked really hard to get out as quickly as I could. I couldn't have done it without you!! I'm sorry about the last chapter but things are gonna get better, I promise!  
> Thanks so much for reading, kudos, bookmarking,subscribing and commenting!!  
> Special thanks to the ones who got me motivated!  
> praksthecellist  
> 8seaWHOREses  
> Heya_Cassbutt_Apdinof  
> Rosalita_Sanz  
> MadHatterAi  
> Aleya  
> Hannah_ruth_990  
> Mishagasme  
> Snuffs  
> HomosexualTendencies  
> sans_me  
> Robin Jay  
> FoxInDocs  
> iowafarmgal

 

 

 

“Hey man, you okay?” Sam asked dropping his pencil onto the map he’d been studying.

“Fine.” Dean said, but the look on Sam’s face said they both knew that was a lie. Sam shook his head and gestured to Dean’s untouched lunch beside him.

“Dean, you haven’t been eating. You barely sleep, you think I didn’t notice? I bought you a cherry pie and you dropped it into the dressed and haven’t touched it. PIE Dean. Come on. I know something’s wrong.” He leaned forward and his voice gentled. “Did you have a fight with your girlfriend?”

Dean felt the sting in the back of his eyes and he blinked to keep the tears back. He was NOT going to cry in front of Sam. No way. And it was such a stupid thing to be upset over anyway. It had been almost 2 weeks since Cas ended things with him. It was more than time he got over it. It’s not like he had any reason to be upset anyway. Cas was an escort. He’d finally settled on that term instead of hooker because, god he hated calling him that, even in his own head. It sounded like a slur or an insult, even if it was his job. And even though it would make this whole thing easier if he could hate Cas, insult him and put some distance between him and his feelings. He couldn’t. He couldn’t hate the man who made him feel safe and protected. He couldn’t hate the guy who had always put Dean and his needs first. He couldn’t hate Cas. Cas hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d never promised Dean anything except a good time. Which he’d lived up to, it wasn’t his fault that Dean had, had too good of a time.

After his melt down in the car he thought that’d be it. That he’d cried Cas out of his system and he’d be good. But he wasn’t good. Everything reminded him of Cas. Every time he pulled out his keys, that little batman keychain taunted him. He’d tried taking it off, had held it in his hand and thought about storing it in his bag, or throwing it away altogether, but in the end he couldn’t do either. He’d put it back on his keys and just made sure to always put them in his drawer when he wasn’t using them. Every time Bob’s burgers came on TV he immediately changed the channel, much to Sam’s annoyance because, “You’re the one who got me into this show.” He’d just shrugged it off and said he wasn’t in the mood to watch it. Every time he opened his bag his heart pinged because he still had one shirt that still smelled like Cas.  And he just couldn’t bring himself to wash it. Something as stupid as Sam getting an omelet at breakfast reminded him of Cas. He just couldn’t stop thinking about him.

“Dean.”

Sam’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he sighed. He knew Sam would eventually say something, and honestly he’d held out longer than Dean would have thought. He probably had no choice but to deal with this now. He couldn’t put Sam off forever.

“We, uh,” He coughed and pushed back from the table. “Yeah. We ended it.”

Sam’s face immediately did that stupid puppy dog face thing, where he was all sad and supportive on Dean’s behalf. Which he’d hoped to avoid at all costs. He hated that face. Never felt like he deserved it, because usually when Dean was upset about something it was his own fault. Just like it was now.

Sam never saw it that way. This time was no exception. He leaned forward and patted Dean’s arm. “Aw man, I’m so sorry. What happened?”

Dean shook his head. He couldn’t tell Sam. He couldn’t admit what he did. How pathetic would he sound? What would Sam think of him if he knew? He shrugged off Sam’s touch and held up his hands trying to stave off the questions he knew were coming. “It just wasn’t working. Okay? End of story.” He pushed away from the table and started walking off, trying to run from the whole conversation.

Sam stood up frowning; he walked around the table and grabbed Dean’s shoulder turning him back to him. “That’s not the end of it. You’re devastated Dean. Obviously she broke up with you. You didn’t want this. What happened? Can you apologize? Maybe we can fix this.”

“We can’t fix it Sam. It’s over!” Dean ripped himself away from Sam.

“But you clearly don’t want it to be over. You have to fight for her Dean. She made you happy. Happier than I’ve ever seen you. You can’t just let that go.”

Dean ran his hands through his hair. Sam didn’t get it. He didn’t know. He couldn’t understand how impossible this whole thing was. Dean shook his head again.

“There’s…someone else.” Dean lied, if Sam thought-

“Bullshit.”

“What?” Dean lifted his head and Sam was glaring down at him. “What do you mean bullshit? I just said there’s someone else.”

Sam crossed his arms. “Come on. There’s no way she found some guy who’s better than you Dean. What could some other guy have that you don’t? You’re a great guy, an even better boyfriend, when you want to be. So what really happened? Why did she really break up with you?”

“We move all the time and it’s just-”

“Save the crap. Tell me the TRUTH.”

Dean took a deep breath. Of course Sam wouldn’t believe that. Sam always thought Dean was more than he was. Better than he was. Which was why telling him the truth? Revealing how pathetic he was, how insecure, how STUPID he’d been. How could he do that? How could he ever look Sam in the face again?

“She was just-”

He glanced up, another lie already on his tongue when the look on Sam’s face made him finally stop. He couldn’t do this anymore. Yeah he could lie. But Sam was holding his stance like he wasn’t going to stop until he got the truth. And honestly? Dean was tired. He was hurt. And even if it made him seem pathetic, he needed to talk to Sam about it. Sam was his best friend. But how would Sam react when he found out Dean fell not only for an escort, but a male escort?

“Alright. Okay. I’ll tell you the truth.”

He sat down on the bed and let the whole story fall from his mouth. He told Sam all of it. How he’d wanted just one night of comfort, how that had transformed into more nights. How he’d enjoyed Cas’ company, how he looked forward to being with him, how much fun he had when he was with him. How much he enjoyed touching him, kissing him, being held by him. He told Sam how Cas had figured out how clingy Dean was being and had finally ended it for good. If his brother was going to disown him, he might as well know everything anyway. He told Sam all of it. Well, most of it. He kept the more intimate and embarrassing details a secret. He didn’t want to scar Sam for life.  He finished his story and kept his eyes cast down, he couldn’t bear to see the disgust on Sam’s face. Couldn’t stand to see Sam look at him differently. Suddenly he felt like he’d made a terrible mistake. His chest tightened and he couldn’t breathe. He should have lied again. Come up with something Sam would believe. Sam was never going to look at him the same. He already lost Cas and now he was going to lose Sam too. Why couldn’t he have just kept his fool mouth shut? He felt, more than saw Sam shift and suddenly Sam was crouched in front of him. He brought his hand up and forced Dean to look at him.

“Dean. You know that you’re my brother and I love you right? You didn’t have to be afraid to tell me this. I don’t think any less of you. At all. You can always tell me anything.” Sam leaned forward and hugged him. Dean, suddenly in shock just accepted the hug as his chest lightened and his breath fell out of his mouth in relief.

“This is the part where you hug back.” Sam said and Dean laughed. He brought his arms up and hugged his brother tight. Sam just held him for a while, allowing his heart to slow. Finally Sam pulled back.

 “If this Cas guy is important to you then that’s it. That’s all that you have to say. We’ll get him back for you.”

Dean just blinked. That was not what he’d been expecting. Sam didn’t want to talk about the fact that Dean lied to him? He didn’t want to comment on the fact that Cas was an escort? Or a man? He wasn’t going to talk about how pathetic Dean is? No. No of course not. Because Sam was his little brother. The one person he should have KNOWN would always have his back. Dean let out another huge breath and laughed. He was an idiot. Of course Sam still loved him. If anything the one he’d have to worry about telling would be his dad. But Sam? Sam didn’t have a malicious bone in his body. Sam stood up and grabbed his notebook and flipped to a blank page.

“Now we just have to figure out how to get him back.”

“So you’re really not going to say anything about finding out your brother is gay?” Dean asked mostly just because he wanted to make sure Sam had understood that point.  

Sam rolled his eyes. “You’re not gay Dean. You’re like, Bi, if you feel the need to label yourself as something. But mostly it’s just Cas. You fell in love with him as a person, not because or despite the fact that he was a guy.” He scribbled something on his paper as Dean reveled at that. Sam understood him better than he understood himself. Because he was right. It wasn’t guys. It was guy. One guy. Cas.

“Besides, even if you were gay, what does that change? You’re still the same jerk you always were.” Sam looked up from his book and smiled at him.

 Damn Sam. Sam really did still love him no matter what. He scrubbed his eyes, which were definitely not tearing up and laughed. “Bitch.”  

Sam went back to scribbling in his notebook and then frowning before he’d slash something out and start again. He kept this up for about 10 minutes before Dean finally questioned him.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Trying to figure out how you’re going to get your man back if you’d shut up long enough to let me.”

Dean shook his head as Sam walked over to the table and shoved the map he’d been looking at aside and dropped his notebook and kept scribbling. “There’s nothing to figure out Sam. He doesn’t want me. I told you what happened.”

Sam paused his writing again and threw a glare at Dean. “You’re an idiot. Can’t you see that he’s in love with you? I can guarantee he didn’t break up with you because he hates you. He broke up with you because he,” Sam made air quotes, “‘Fell for a john’ he probably thinks that you don’t have feelings for him. It’s so obvious. He doesn’t want his heart broken.”

“How the hell is it so obvious?” Dean asked plopping down into the chair at the table and felt his heart speed up. That couldn’t be true. Could it? That Cas actually felt something for him?

“Dean, you’ve been doing this for how many months?”

Dean tilted back and started ticking them off on his fingers silently. “8 and a half.” He finally said, and shit, it seemed like so much longer to him. He felt like he’d always known Cas.

“Are you friggin kidding me? After all this time you think he’d keep coming back if he didn’t care?” Sam shook his head and grabbed his weird Salad cup thing and started shaking it angrily.

“I’m paying for him Sammy, and it was easy money.”

Sam paused. “How was it easy?”

“I told you. We didn’t even have sex for a long time. So all he had to do was show up basically.” But really it was so much more than that. For Dean it was anyway. Seeing him laugh about something dumb. Hearing him talk about his day, he hadn’t even needed the sex, that had been an added bonus later, but just being with Cas had always been enough.

“So lemme get this straight. He kept coming back even though you weren’t having sex and that’s what he’s paid to do,”

“Yeah but-“

“He gave you presents, even though that’s not a part of his job.”

Dean jolted back. He hadn’t told Sam about that. He didn’t know why but that was one of the things he’d wanted to keep private. “How do you know about that?”

“You think I didn’t notice that batman keychain? I put 2 and 2 together Dean.” Sam said and Dean guessed that, yeah, it would be pretty obvious after everything else he’d told him. Sam resumed shaking his salad much to Dean’s annoyance.

“Yeah but Cas is just-”

 “He gave you his cell phone number and you guys texted ALL the time. I mean it was disgusting how many times I caught you smiling at your phone.” Sam grimaced and Dean shook his head. That didn’t mean anything.

“But that was because-”

“And now all of a sudden after you guys have sex he wants to stop? Why now? Why not just keep it going? Do you really suck at it? Were you so terrible he’s trying to run away from you so he doesn’t have to do it again?”

Dean wasn’t even going to dignify that with a response so he just settled with a dirty look.

 “That’s what I thought. I think it’s because after you guys had sex it finally made him realize how he feels about you. How when you guys have sex it’s different than when he had sex before. Be honest, you didn’t at any point when having sex even think about the fact that you were paying him did you? And he didn’t bring it up either did he? Man, you’ve know this guy for 8 and a half months and I’ve only heard about him and I know him better than you do.”

“Could you stop saying sex please?” Dean could feel the red creeping into his ears and he twined his fingers behind this head to cover them with his palms. Really? It wasn’t bad enough that he’d had to tell Sam about it, but now he wanted to TALK about it?

“Grow up. It’s not a dirty word. You’re a grown man Dean and sex is a natural part of a relationship. I know you have sex from time to time. You don’t have to protect me from it. Just like you know I-”

“Thanks Sam.” He really didn’t need to hear about his brother’s sex life right now. Especially not when his own was so sad.

 “Childish,” Sam sighed then looked up at him again.  “You’re feelings are probably blinding you to the obvious.”

Dean leaned forward and grabbed the salad cup from Sam’s hand and slammed it onto the table. The shaking was getting on his nerves. “It’s not obvious Sam. You could be dead wrong.”

“But I’m not. And I can prove it.” Sam said grabbing the salad back and circling something on his notebook.

Dean laughed, oh this was one he’d have to hear. “How are you going to do that?”

“I’m gonna pay your boyfriend to sleep with me.” Sam grinned as he popped his salad open.

“Sam I swear to god-”

Sam must have heard the unspoken threat because he held his hands up and rolled his eyes again. “Not really sleep with him. Come on, what do you take me for? I just mean I’ll call him and pretend I want to have sex with him. Then he’ll show up and you’ll see that he acts way different with a paying customer than he did with you. Because he loves you. And you’re an idiot.”

“Exactly how far do you plan to go with him?”

“Jealous?”

There was no point denying it. His reaction to Sam saying he wanted to sleep with Cas had been instantaneously. “You know I am. I told you he doesn’t care about me. I never said I didn’t care about him.”

“The word you keep avoiding is love Dean. It’s okay. You can say it. You’re in LOVE with him.” Sam said and Dean started to shake his head but stopped. He didn’t…love Cas? Sam thought he loved Cas? He’d never loved anyone except his family before. And that wasn’t the same kind of love. Could it be possible? He knew he cared for Cas. Knew he got excited when he heard his voice. Couldn’t wait to see him. Felt his heart beat in his chest when he kissed him. Did that mean he loved him? Cas was the first person he’d been completely open with. He’d been honest with him. He’d allowed himself to be more playful with him than he ever had with someone before. But Love?  He forced the idea out of his head because what did it matter anyway? Even if he did, he couldn’t have Cas. He’d made that more than clear. He was in the way of Cas’ life. He was just a fantasy, and intrusion into what was real. He could never have Cas. He’d already told Sam that.

“Sam just-“

“No.” His voice was actually firm and Dean looked up at him surprised. “This is going to work Dean. You can have Cas back. You can be happy.”

Dean doubted that. “And what happens if I DID get him back? We hold hands and skip off into happily ever after?” He asked, ignoring the fact that, that’s basically what he’d asked Cas to do two weeks ago.

Sam growled his frustration and rubbed his hands over his eyes. “You can figure it out after you get him back Dean. It’s not like you couldn’t make it work.”

“We move around so much as it is already Sam.”

“And you’ve still managed to see him for the last 8 months. And if you didn’t have to PAY every time, you could even afford to go more often. Or, hell, we could move closer to him.”

Dean blinked. Move? “Like move into an actual place?”

“Dean you know how much I love being your partner and catching bad guys. You know I do. But we just kind of fell into this. It was supposed to be temporary while we saved up for Law school. And lately when you’ve left to go be with Cas, I’ve been studying. It’s not too late for me to go back to school. I’d be a little older than my class, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do it.”

Dean fidgeted in his chair. “So you want to be a lawyer?”

“I’ve always wanted to be a lawyer. I wanted to help people. You did too. That’s why we were going after scum bags. But this way? I can help more people.”

Sam was saying it so heartfelt, so sure, like he’d practiced this. This wasn’t just an off the cuff suggestion. This was something he’d been thinking about for a while. Sam wanted to go back and make a life for himself. But how did Dean fit into this whole plan?

“And you’re okay with becoming a lawyer and your brother dating a prostitute?”

Sam pinned him with a stare. “I stand up for what’s right, not necessarily what’s legal.”

That was true. Sam had never really cared about the small shit like pot, or parking tickets. But he would get really pissed when someone would steal identities, because they were usually scamming old folks who didn’t really have it to lose. Sam hated when anyone got taken advantage of. He’d even spent a few summers before they got into bounty hunting helping people fight for Medicare. And he did it for free. The government was content to take advantage of people who didn’t know any better, so Sam gave them a fight because he DID know better. He knew how to get extensions and he knew which forms to request. Sam would make a great lawyer. He’d stand up and give people a voice who needed one.

He wanted better for Sam. He really did. But the selfish part of his brain couldn’t help but speak up. “And what do I do all day while you’re in school? I can’t do this without you Sam.”

“Then do what you’ve always wanted to do. What you used to tell me you wanted to be when you grew up.”

Dean sat back in shock. He hadn’t…Wow. It had been a long time since he thought about that. He’d just settled into being a bounty hunter. He never even considered he could do something else. Do something more with his life. Sam? Sam could do better sure. But Dean? “You…you think I still could?”

Sam smiled and nodded. “You can Dean. We can start our lives for real. I can apply to school, you can go for training. Coincidentally enough, my future school and your future boyfriend happen to live in the same state. We can do this Dean.”

Dean was still in shock. His chest tightened again. Could he really… “You think, do you think I’d be any good as a firefighter?”

“It’s all you ever talked about when we were kids. All you ever wanted to be. And hey, you saved me right? I’d say you’re already a damn good candidate.”

Dean had wanted to be a firefighter his whole life, ever since his house had burned down with their mom still inside. He’d thought that if he were older, bigger that maybe he could have helped. Done something else. So he’d decided then and there he wanted to be a firefighter. He was going to grow up and make sure that he could help other people. Save them. But somewhere along the way he lost that dream. It had started with not having the time to actually get training. Then he was working more to save up for Law school for Sam. He didn’t go to college because he didn’t want to waste the money on himself when Sam needed it. Besides, a firefighter didn’t need a college degree.

Then he’d found a random bail jumper almost by accident and collected the reward money. It was easy, and paid well. Well, well enough considering the other minimum wage jobs he could have gotten. Then he’d enlisted Sam on one of his hunts and it just kind of spiraled down from there. Sam was right. This wasn’t meant to be their life. This was never what they wanted. And they had enough money now to do everything Sam was saying. Despite all the money Dean had spent on his “relationship” with Cas. Sam still had his share of the money they’d gotten. And since they always shared a room, and only ate the cheap stuff, they had more than enough saved up to START a life. They had enough to at least pay for an apartment and one semester of Law school. And Sam knew how to apply for loans and financial aid, so they could make this work.

This was a lot to take in at once, moving into a real place, getting real jobs, having real friends that they didn’t have to text when they were “in town”. They could be happy. Sam wanted them to be happy. He wanted Dean to be happy. There was just one problem with this plan.

“Cas still doesn’t want me Sam.” He whispered and Sam pounded his hands on the table.

“Then we’ll make him want you. This is going to work. I’ll make sure it works.”

Dean still didn’t see how that was going to happen. “How do you even expect this to work?”

“I’ll call up Gabriel’s, request Cas by name, get him to meet me and you hide in the closet.”

“That’s your plan? What did you cross out?” He couldn’t imagine anything would be more stupid than this.

“Shut up. You’ll be in the closet and then you’ll see that he was different with you.”

Dean threw his hands up. “So what if it was? What am I supposed to do? Jump out of the closet and confess my undying affections? Like THAT wouldn’t send him screaming for the hills.”

Sam ran his fingers through his hair. “No. You stay in there. You’re never going to make a move unless you KNOW how he feels about you. I know it, and you know it. Once you KNOW how he feels, then you shouldn’t have a problem actually calling him and working this out later.”

“So that’s your plan? I hide in a closet and watch my brother make out with, basically my ex?”

“Yup.” Sam took a bite of his salad and nodded as if he’d just revealed the greatest plan in the history of plans. When in reality it was probably the dumbest, but what choice did he really have? What was the alternative? He clearly wasn’t going to talk Sam out of this.  

“And what if he does act the same with you?” Dean asked voicing the possibility neither of them seemed inclined to mention. Sam paused his chewing thoughtfully. He swallowed and then shrugged sadly.

“Well. Then at least you’d know for sure. One way or another, you’ll be able to move on.”

Move on. Move on to a life in a real apartment. Move on to a life where Sam was happy in school. Move on to a life where they could make actual friends. Move on to a future that almost certainly wouldn’t have Cas in it no matter what Sam thought. Because what are the odds that Dean was that lucky? Or that this stupid plan could in anyway not end up in disaster? Sure he’d move on. He just hoped his heart would move on too.

“Alright. When do we do this?”

**Author's Note:**

> For anybody going "This plan is so cliche" Well yea. It's fanfiction. Had to have a trope in at some point right? And everyone saying, "Sam is smarter than this, this plan is stupid." Yeah well. Sam IS smarter than this. So. Yeah.


End file.
